


Theraphy for Dummies

by amuk



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blogging, Crack, Crack Pairing, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Romantic Comedy, Summer Camp, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 04:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For slight VERY SLIGHT anger issues, Tenten has to go to a therapist retreat. A place run by religious freaks who have methods that involve dogs. Meeting Itachi, though, was an unexpected pleasant surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Into the Wild

**Author's Note:**

> This is all horribly stupid.

**Subject:** **WHO SAID I NEEDED THERAPY?**  

 **Mood:** PISSED. So angry that I doubt you’d want to see me.

 **Music:**   _My suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now I’m dangerous_

 **Location:** Didn’t you see what I wrote before? I’m really angry. Don’t even look for me.

 

Hmm…so this is a ‘journal’, then? Used for my thoughts and such, right?

 

Well, for all of you evil, conniving psychiatrists who probably are going to be reading this later—yeah, I _know_ that you are going to end up reading this. Even if you claim that you won’t, because _“the patients can tell us their problems when they want to. This is just for your own thoughts.”_

 

Yeah right.

 

I totally believed you. For about a second. Then I saw your eyes glint and knew the plan.

 

But fine. If you want to play that game, I shall play with you. I’m not the head of our sports teams at school for nothing and I most certainly not have won all those awards in athletics because I don’t know how to play a game.

 

Oh, and before you think I’m some jock, I’m also in the school newspaper. So this girl has brains and brawn _(and beauty, but I don’t really care about that department._

_…_

_Much, at least.)_

**_(STUPID, FAKE, TOTAL LIES) Reasons why I am here:_ **

**1.** I apparently am a very _‘violent person who needs to learn to calm down’_.

 **2.** At least, this is according to the Pink-haired Menace—I mean, my friend Sakura.

 **3.** AS IF _SHE_ KNOWS ANYTHING.

 **4.** I mean, she’s a smart person and obviously should be listened to and—

 **5.** SHE’S THE ONE WHO HITS NARUTO AND—

 **6.** Anyways, I am not violent. At all. The book incident? That was an accident.

 **7.** MAYBEKINDAOKITWASNOT.

 **8.** It’s not fully my fault it happened. I didn’t know everything about the incident.

 **9.** And, HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT NEJI AND SAKURA WERE _STUDYING_?

 **10.** They looked like they were doing something else.

 **11.** ….well, it was a library, and there were books…and…

 **12.** LOOKS CAN BE **DECEIVING**.

 **13.**  And, besides, I wasn’t the _only_ one thinking this!

 **14.** SASUKE WAS TOTALLY HOLDING A _KNIFE_ BEHIND THAT SHELF.

 **15.**  It just so happened that my— _someone’s_ —book ended up hitting Pink—Sakura first.

 **16.** And because everyone started to think I was jealous—

 **17.** WHICH I TOTALLY AM _NOT_. **_WHO WOULD BE JEALOUS?_**

 **18.** –of Sakura and Neji being together in a _totally non-romantic way_ —

 **19.** I WAS JUST PROTECTING MY FRIENDS FROM MAKING A MISTAKE.

 **20.** –and did something that caused _slight_ injuries—

 **21.** Honestly, it was just a dictionary. A 5000pg dictionary, but still _just_ a dictionary.

 **22.** –everyone decided to send me to this _idiotic therapy place_.

 **23.** AND, I WAS _NOT_ JEALOUS.

 **24.** GOD. Neji is just a _FRIEND_. **NOTHING MORE**.

 

But, I’ll admit, the view is nice here. All sorts of trees and hiking grounds and _IS THAT A **SWIMMING** POOL I SEE?_

         

And that seems like a very nice tennis court and what is that—

 

Oh.

 

Apparently that dog you gave me decided she needs to go out.

 

Which reminds me. I love dogs and all—and why do I get a small dog? Is this something against girls? That whole ‘girls are weaker and like small, cute, fluffy things’ is so not true any more. A terrier? Instead of a DOBERMAN?—but having therapy using dogs is ridiculous.

 

Honestly, how will a dog get me over my ‘anger’ issues?

 

Oh, and if she poops on the floor, I am not cleaning it.

 

 —Your angry patient, Tenten

 

 **P.S.** Please put the damn notebook back when you’re done.

 

-x-

 

     “COME BACK, YOU MUTT,” Tenten yelled as she started to run across the field after ‘her’ dog. When she took her out for a stroll, Tenten didn’t expect anything odd to happen.

 

Just the usual run-around-the-court, let’s-tire-out-the-dog-and-owner thing.

 

Not the 100km sprint with her running, jumping, and dodging while chasing after a dog. At her speed, even a small rock could hurt.

 

“SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DO NOT STOP, I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU,” she shouted after the small terrier as it went through a hole in the fence.

 

“Hello, Tenten-san. Please do not yell angry things at the dog,” a counselor requested as he approached her, “Try to remain calm.”

 

“Your dog is running away, and you are telling me to _calm down_?” Tenten glared at the counselor and then turned back to looking for the dog.

 

“Of course. It isn’t the dog’s fault that he has run off.”

 

“What? So it’s MY fault?”

 

“No. Of course not. It’s merely a way of testing your patience. Believe and Kami-sama shall help you.”

 

“…Right.”

 

“Good to see you believe. Just pray with us.”

 

“Mmmm….THERE’S THAT DOG. COME BACK HERE!” Tenten ran off, happy to get rid of that counselor. This was yet another thing she hated about this center.

 

There were too many annoying, religious counselors that always popped up when she was angry.

 

“There you are,” she growled as she finally cornered the dog. Diving down, she managed to capture her. “If you want to play, I’ll bring a ball next time. Don’t run off again,—” Tenten paused for a moment, “What’s your name again?” Looking at the tags, she noticed a name. “ _Konan, Kami-sama’s tenshi_? How…nice…”

 

-x-

**Subject: YOU RELIGIOUS FREAKS**

**Mood:** Slowly calming down. I think.

**Music:** _God is a girl, wherever you are_ —well, at least you people have ‘girl’ right.

 **Location:** I’d say something, but you’d probably bring “Kami-sama” into it.

 

Well, obviously you people need help. Why am I here when you people are the ones with problems?

 

**_Get this checked by the doctor:_ **

**1.** Do you people even know how to name things?

             **2.**    A dog named _Konan, Kami-sama’s Tenshi_? RIGHT. VERY NICE.

             **3.**    A tennis court called _Stairway to Heaven_?

              **4.** A swimming pool called _THE STORM_?

             **5.** Are you _SERIOUS?_

             **6.** OH KAMI-SAMA, YOU ARE WORSE THAN NARUTO

            **7.**   No, I correct myself. You’re worse than Sasuke

            **8.**  Oh, and you counselors need to learn how to be people

             **9.**   ARE YOU ALL BRAIN-WASHED OR SOMETHING

            **10.**   The whole “Believe in Kami-sama” thing is getting old

            **11.**   AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN A DAY.

            **12.**   Are you _trying_ to convert my religion into whatever it is you robots believe?

            **13.** I mean, it isn’t enough that every conversation leads to:

            **14.**   “Oh, Tenten-san, why won’t you believe in Kami-sama?”

            **15.**  Or “Tenten-san, our Kami-sama is forgiving, trust him.”

            **16.** OR EVEN, “Tenten-san, Kami-sama will help you open that bottle.”

            **17.**   Oh no, that isn’t bad enough.

            **18.**  Every morning, “Kami-sama’s radio” plays, with “Kami-sama’s music”

            **19.**    Every meal is “Kami-sama’s works of art”

          **20.** AND EVERY BOOK HAS “Kami-sama” ON EVERY OTHER LINE.

          **21.** YOU ALL FAIL.

           **22.** THE DOG’S NAME HAS Kami-sama IN IT TOO.

           **23.** “God’s Angel”? I’m worried what you feed her.

          **24.**  I SHOULD REPORT YOU ALL.

 

On the bright side, though, your sports equipment is working fine. The pool has a good length and depth, and the balls are tough….

 

Maybe I should go out and play. That’d help. And the dog can play too…

 

—sadly, still your prisoner, Tenten

 

 **P.S.** WHICH ONE OF YOU STOLE MY CHOCOLATES? HMM?

 **P.P.S.** I’ve noticed that you people have gone through my cell-phone. And my laptop. I can arrest you for that, you know.

 **P.P.P.S.** Actually, since I’m sure you’ve gone through my contact list ( _looking for more victims_ ) I thought I should give you advice. Ask Pinky—I mean, Sakura to come. She’ll have fun.

 

-x-

 

Tenten looked up at the sun, wiping her brow. “Wow, it sure is hot.”

 

“ARF!” the dog in front of her started to whine and she forced a smiled. “Ok, here’s the ball, you demanding dog.” Stretching her arm back, she threw the dirty tennis ball with as much as she could muster.

 

Wooosh! It flew through the air and covering her chocolate-brown eyes, Tenten saw it land somewhere in the distance.

 

She smirked; baseball practice sure came in handy.

 

“Go fetch, Konan!” The dog quickly ran off at this command and she laughed lightly. “Well, there goes the dog for a while.”

 

Turning around, she walked back to the swimming pool and quickly took off her running shows. “Finally, I can go swimming…” she murmured as she dove into the pool. She had already gotten changed into her swimsuit when the dog decided to play fetch.

 

“Ohhh….It sure is nice in here….” she sighed as she swam in the cool water. She started to do her laps, cutting through the water with her hands and arms. Reaching the wall, she flipped underwater and kicked off, surfacing a few seconds later and continuing her front crawl.

 

Ten minutes later, she heard a splashing sound and quickly turned to look at it.

 

“Konan?” she gaped slightly as she saw the dog trashing in the water. Then Konan began swimming towards her.

 

“…I guess it was too hot for the dog too,” Tenten mused, before heading towards the dog. “So, girl,” she asked when she finally reached the dog, “want a treat after this?”

 

-x-

“Brr…it gets cold at night here,” Tenten shivered as she quickly grabbed a towel out of her bag. Taking out her shampoo and soap, she turned to the dog.

 

“Stay here, Konan.”

 

Then she turned to go to the showers—which were, oddly, located on the other side of the building and were more in the form of a public bath.

 

Locking the door, she started to walk towards the bath when she noticed the dog was with her.

 

“Wha—fine, Konan, you can stay,” she sighed, bending down to pet the terrier’s soft fur. “Don’t make me regret this.”

 

“Hmph!” the dog snorted as she led the way to the room.

 

“Hey! Don’t go so fast, mutt!” Tenten called out, chasing after the dog. Running down the halls, she noticed that Konan had turned left. She turned left herself and—

 

-x-

**Subject: I take back everything bad I said about you.**

**Mood:** A happy, shiny feeling. 

**Music:** _What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more_

**Location:** In that bright sparkly place called heaven. Yes.

 

I take back what I said about Konan, Kami-sama’s Tenshi.

 

She can be Konan, Tenten-sama’s Tenshi too now.

 

And it’s ok that she’s small. I love small dogs. Very much so.

 

Why am I so happy and deciding to tell you all of this? So that you can do me a favour.

 

After all, stealing and looking at my personal stuff is a federal offense. I can hurt you for that.

 

But I won’t. As long as you put me in a certain class.

 

 _The small dog’s and sports_ class. Terrible name, but I can live.

 

Why do I want that class? Because, my dog and I should have quality time together and we should be fit.

 

You know, to fight against diabetes and becoming lazy, fat people.

 

…And of course, because I should know my fellow prisi—I mean, my peers. After all, they can be nice.

 

There is _(a very hot)_ one in particular I want to meet….

 

Itachi-sama. _(Actually, that sounds tacky. I’ll keep it Itachi-san for now.)_

 

Hmm…your files—which, BTW, you should keep better hidden. The locks you have? Nothing on my tools—call him ‘Uchiha, Itachi’.

 

Maybe he’s related to Sasuke…In which case, he’s probably a jerk too.

 

But they both have such good genes….I wonder if all of their family members look like that?

 

Actually, now that I think about it, all of the good-looking guys have girly appearances. And are very jerk-ish because of that.

 

OH. GOD. There is no way I am facing even more of that.

 

On second thought, don’t put me in that class. I’m happy enough as I am. Knowing only two heartless, cold, idiotic girly-guys.

 

 —feeling slightly depressed now, Tenten

 

 **P.S.** Thank-you for giving me more chocolate. However, that does not mean you are off the hook. Especially as I am now missing my cell-phone and laptop.


	2. Stalkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For slight VERY SLIGHT anger issues, Tenten has to go to a therapist retreat. A place run by religious freaks who have methods that involve dogs. Meeting Itachi, though, was an unexpected pleasant surprise.

**To Tenten, Patient #1010, the panda girl**

 

_You are invited to join the **small dogs and sports** class. There is a spot available due to a person getting sick, and therefore, we have decided that you can join if you desire._

_It is held every day from 9am to 1pm, with plenty of food, entertainment, and enjoyable company. Other patients are there as well._

_Be warned that this class is very popular and that there are many people who wish to join it. Therefore, please accept quickly before the space is given away._

_Expecting you,_

**The Higher Order of Animals and People Relations,**

**Small Dogs and Sports**

**P.S.** We have a  Uchiha Itachi in our class.

 

 

Tenten crumpled the note in her hand angrily. Did she not just say _no_ yesterday? Do they not get the message? Obviously, she had to take action.

 

-x-

 

 **Subject:** **What does it take for you people to understand “No”?**

 **Mood:** An angry, watch out for me feeling. 

**Music:** _It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right, just beat it_

 **Location:** In a sea of papers—really, are you guys implementing deforestation?

 

Honestly, do any of you understand the meaning of ‘No’? It does not mean ‘I’m thinking about it’ or ‘Try again’ or even ‘Come back later’.

 

It means ‘No, I’ve had enough, leave me alone’.

 

It does _not_ mean send me fifty thousand more letters.

 

After that last entry about that dog class, you have sent me a total of eighty-nine invitations to that dog class.

 

(Right. That class is _so hard to get into_. That’s why the space has been left open for three freaking days.)

 

Honestly, after the first ‘no’ I sent, I thought you would have gotten the message. I said no for a reason. I don’t want to join. I think the last message should have fully show you that. After all, there was a knife in it.

 

Obviously, you are not getting the message. I shall state it now.

 

**I AM NOT JOINING ANY CLASS THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME INTO. NO MEANS NO. STOP SENDING THE SPAM MAIL.**

 

I will get angry if I receive another letter. Seriously.

 

—Annoyed, Tenten

 

 **P.S.** Thanks for returning my stuff. I, however, do not appreciate the pictures of your god that you have placed on my hard-drive nor do I like the music you added.

 

-x-

 

Tenten stretched, yawning. It was 6am and the sun was streaming through her windows. “Only a few more months,” she thought as she rolled out of bed and got dressed.

 

Suddenly, the dog nipped at her heels.

 

“Konan!” the brown-haired girl yelped, clutching her feet. “I thought we got over this.” She groaned lightly as she massaged her right foot. “Honestly, where did they get you from?” Konan just barked, scratching the door.

 

“I’ll walk you, just wait a moment,” Tenten muttered. How did things get so bad that she was taking orders from a _dog_?

 

Walking to the small closet, she pulled out her Chinese clothes and quickly put them on. She brushed her teeth and hair hurriedly as the dog barked louder.

 

“See?” she took out the leash and clipped it on Konan’s collar. “We’re leaving.” Turning the knob, she opened the door—

 

Now, not many things surprise Tenten. She had all sorts of things occur to her in life; it came with being friends with a rather energetic Lee and a stoic Neji. Having Naruto and his friends thrown into the mix didn’t help. However, when she opened that door, she got surprised.

 

—and got hit by a wall of envelopes. They cascaded into the room, covering every surface area available and nearly choked her as she tried to breathe.

 

Grabbing the nearest one, she saw the words written on it and blanched.

 

It was from **Small Dogs and Sports**.

 

-x-

 

 **Subject:** **You frightening, frightening people**

 **Mood:** A worried, near-death, calm

 **Music:** _I will go down with this ship, I’ll put my hands up and surrender_

 **Location:** On my way to the registration office

 

Ok, you freaks. I give up. I totally and fully give in. After all, you can be more frightening than Sakura and Ino back when they were stalkers, and trust me, that was a very scary stage they used to be in.

 

(How scary? Ok, they broke into Sasuke’s house, stole clothes/furniture, placed cameras in every room of the house, and hacked into his computer. They did that for several years before stopping.)

 

Anyways, I am now going to agree and join in the **Small Dogs and Sports** class. Why am I giving up so easy, when it is not in my nature to?

 

Well, let’s see. You managed to drown me two mornings in a row with envelopes, made my cereal, sandwiches, and, surprisingly enough, my fruit shape themselves into the words, _Join the class! JOIN US!_

 

You also made little flags and clothes that flew into the tennis court when I played saying, “Give Konan a treat,” and engraved into my towel, **Small Dogs + Sports = Love**.

 

(IT DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE.)

 

Then what you did to all of my other clothes and my bags and my…

 

Do I really need to go on? Honestly, I think you’ve broken several laws by now. Stalking is really bad.

 

However, I don’t think I can stand a third day of this, so I am going to tomorrow’s class.

 

And seeing Itachi-san, in all his glory and—

 

Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Itachi = jerk. Pretty boys = trouble. Get that straight, mind.

 

(Though, I suppose just _seeing_ him can’t be all that bad. Mmmm….)

 

—a slightly freaked out Tenten

 

 **P.S.** By the way, can I please get a map on all of the sports fields here? I’ve been trying to find a soccer field for a while now, and where is the track field?

 

 **P.P.S.** I except a lot of treats for me in the mail tomorrow. I deserve it after all I’ve been through.  
 


	3. Three Blondes and a Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For slight VERY SLIGHT anger issues, Tenten has to go to a therapist retreat. A place run by religious freaks who have methods that involve dogs. Meeting Itachi, though, was an unexpected pleasant surprise.

Hands rose to her face, slowly rubbed her eyes, and then lowered again. It didn’t help at all, much to her chagrin, and she repeated the motion. After a few more minutes of doing this, she just stood there and stared.

 

Normally, she would be embarrassed to be caught staring, with her mouth open and her eyes wide, but there were other people doing it as well. Around her, people were chatting happily as they approached the building. Some don’t bother looking at the building or just ignore the sight and enter. The rest glance at it, go back to talking, pause, and then freeze as they look at the building again.

 

 _Really_ , she thought, _it isn’t that odd of a building._

 

It was just…a bit foreboding. Especially considering how the rest of the resort was like.

 

Finally getting a hold of herself, Tenten tugged at Konan’s leash and marched up the stairs. “This is not getting to me,” she muttered to herself, dodging the frozen people. “If I survived the first few days, I will survive this.”

 

Behind her someone whipped out a cell phone and took a picture of the building. “Hey, buddy, you won’t believe this. I’m entering a building that’s shaped like a giant dog….No, that’s not the best part….Yes, I’m getting to it. It’s body looks like dynamite sticks and it’s head is one of those large, round bombs….Yes, just like the one’s in your game….The entrance is the mouth, where the tongue is this giant string—the ones that you light the dynamite with—and it’s one fire….of course it’s fake fire! Why would they risk our lives with—wait….Oh, actually, that fire might be real. Someone fell into it and is running around screaming….no, I don’t think they’re just acting….Are the dynamite sticks real? Uh…..No….I’m not sure, I don’t think they’re real….yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll take the day off.”

 

-x-

 

“Come on, Konan, keep being a nice girl…” Tenten begged while she pulled the dog behind her. “Keep doing what I want…or, well, at least letting me make you do what I want.”

 

Konan merely growled, digging her feet into to the carpet. It had been like this since morning, with Konan refusing to move and Tenten pulling her everywhere. Treats, threats, bribes, nothing worked and she was annoyed.

 

“This is another reason I really don’t like dogs. They don’t listen.” Tenten jerked the leash, almost angrily, before realizing that Konan was rather small and fragile. “I’m doing this for you! Why won’t you just go in?”

 

After fighting a little longer, they managed to make it into the main building. “This is probably the stomach,” Tenten told herself, thinking of the building shape. Inside it was decorated nice enough, with streamers and ribbons hanging from the walls. The carpet was a thick, soft plush, reaching to just above her ankles, and there were tables with balloons and food. It was more like a party than anything else.

 

The small dogs were barely visible, just small holes in the carpet.

 

Looking down at a table nearby, she saw a program and grabbed it. Before she could open it, though, two blonde girls approached her.

 

“Hey—” they said at the same time, from either side of Tenten, before stopping and glaring at each other.

 

“I saw her first.” The blonde on her left side said this, her hair held back in a ponytail and a long bang covering one-side of her face.

 

“Sure, after me of course,” the other girl coolly replied, her hair in four ponytail’s that defied gravity.

 

“You’re just jealous that I found someone to hang out with, Temari!”

 

“And why would I be jealous of you, Ino?”

 

“So many reasons, like my looks, my—”

 

“Not your intelligence of course, though.”

 

“What? Why you—” Ino started to screech before quickly calming down and flashing a small smirk. “Oh, I see. You give up on being smart. Is that why you play with that fan of yours?”

“Better than anything you do. Trying to be psychic and read people’s minds again?”

 

They started to bicker like this, Ino looking for a fight and Temari just barely holding herself back but trying to be cool about it. Tenten nervously looked back and forth, trying to edge her way away from them but they caged her between them.

 

“I don’t know what Shikamaru ever saw in you!” Ino screeched.

 

Temari shot back, “Same here. Obviously, you’re just a pest to him.”

 

“What was that? You’re the annoyance!”

 

Tenten was right between them. Exactly right between them. If they lunged, she’d go down with them.

 

That was not happening.

 

She took a small step back, and then another. _Nearly there,_ she thought, when she bumped into Konan.

 

“Hey, you.” Temari jerked Tenten forward, stopping her from falling. “Which one of us is the most annoying?”

 

“She is, right?” Ino glared angrily at Temari.

 

“Uh…” There was no good way to answer this question. “Well….” They looked at her expectantly.

 

Shit. She was so screwed.

 

“Uh…I really don’t know either of you…so…” Tenten usually was confident and said what she wanted to say, but the look on their faces….She didn’t doubt that if she said the wrong thing, they would attack.

 

“Wh—” Ino began to say when Konan barked loudly before pouncing on her dog. Temari’s dog started jumping around, excited and soon the three dogs were in a pile.

 

Tenten froze, wondering if she was off the hook, while Temari and Ino blinked and looked down at their dogs. After a few minutes of silence, Tenten coughed lightly and Temari started to laugh.

 

“Sorry about that, guess I was being a bit overwhelming.” She held out a hand and Tenten looked at it suspiciously. The girl was calmer now, as was the other, so she deemed it safe enough.

 

“Yeah, you were. I kept feeling like you were going to kill me.”

 

Ino sniffed. “Like I would kill someone because of _her_.”

 

“Do you want to get a seat?” Tenten quickly said before another fight started. Pulling the two along with her, she sat them down on two seats in the front and put herself between them.

 

“I think it’s going to start soon,” she told them, opening the program.

 

-x-

 

**_WELCOME TO THE AMAZING ART PREFORMANCE—_ **

****

_Idiot, this is the small dog class pamphlet._

**_I’M NOT AN IDIOT, YEAH. I just have better art tastes than you._ **

****

_Your art tastes are worthless, just like the garbage you call art._

**_STOP INSULTING MY ART. Obviously, you don’t know real art if you saw it._ **

****

_That’s you. Now, get back to the point of this._

**_Right. WELCOME TO THE AMAZING SMALL DOG CLASS!_ **

****

_This is run by me, Sasori—_

**_AND BY ME, THE AMAZING DEIDARA!_ **

****

_When did you get this excited about this? You didn’t like it in the first place._

**_I got promoted. And the building…if it blew-up, it would be better, but it inspires me._ **

****

_If it blew up, we’d all be dead. Do I have to start writing this now?_

**_No, no, I’ll do it, yeah. Let’s see…I need to put a program of what we’re doing today._ **

****

_Yeah. And then we’ll have to make this tomorrow. And the day after. Joy._

**_We can get someone else to do it._ **

****

_…I’ll think about that._

**Program:**

**1) THE INTRO**

**2) “OMG. IT’S DEIDARA” moment. _(_** _Be serious. For once. That’s not happening. **)**_

**3) Meet Sasori. _(_** _Better. **)**_

**4) Small dog info session.**

**5) Class sign-ups. _(YEAH! FORCING NEWBIES TO JOIN! THREATS! YEAH!)_**

**6) Food.**

**7) End.  ( _Serious enough?) (_** _A little longer. **) (So picky, yeah. This is boring. I’m done.)**_

****

**Bring your dogs for the afternoon class.**

**_AND BE PREPARED FOR THE AMAZING FINALE._ **

****

_I thought you were done._

**_I’m done now._ **

****

_Good._

**_Why are we arguing on paper?_ **

****

_…we’re on computers in different parts of the resort. I can’t hit you from here._

**_Shouldn’t we erase this part?_ **

****

_I’ll leave it to the printing guys. Surely they’re not that idiotic that they’ll leave this on._

-x-

 

“They are that idiotic.”

 

“…as are the guys handling this,” Tenten added, agreeing with Temari.

 

“Actually, I don’t know, the guy that’s not Deidara—Sasori—seems kinda…hot.”

 

“Ino, you can tell this by reading his typing?” Temari raised an eyebrow. “I think Deidara is just like you.” Tenten snickered.

 

“What? He’s arrogant and so concerned with himself. And he seems like an idiot.” Ino huffed, feeling insulted to be compared to him.

 

“Exactly.”

 

They started to argue again but the lights dimmed. “Look, it’s starting,” Ino cheerfully said, excited. “I can’t wait to meet…” She glanced down at the program. “Sasori, I think.”

 

“HELLO!” A voice boomed in the room and a giant bang sounded. There was a hole in the back of the building and from it stepped a figure.

 

“I am Deidara!” He grinned, all friendly-like, to the crowd, but there was something raw and mad to that grin. Tenten shivered slightly, afraid, before she realized something. She looked at his long blonde hair, his blue eyes, and immediately realized what would happen.

 

“Ino,” she started.

 

“He looks,” Temari began.

 

“THAT COPY-CAT!” Ino screeched.

 

Deidara looked down, surprised, and then smirked. “Look, I have a fan already!”

 

“I…A FAN?”

 

Tenten reached over to Ino, pulling her back into her seat. “Don’t make a scene right now,” she hissed.

 

Temari smirked. “Hey, Ino, I was right about you two being similar.”

 

“You’re not helping!”

 

“I’m going to kill that man!”

 

“Ino, be reasonable! This will not help!”

 

“He has my looks, Tenten! What am I supposed to do, ignore that? What sort of a guy dresses up like a girl anyways?”

 

“I didn’t know you had a twin, Ino…though, he is kinda hot…” Temari grinned, knowing Ino’s response.

 

“Don’t even _think_ about it. That’s just…wrong. Complimenting him and wanting to date him.”

 

“Temari, you’re still not helping.”

 

“Shh! Tenten, the twin’s talking again.”

 

Deidara clapped his hands. “Anyways, I have someone I’d like you all to meet…my cat!” A big, black cat came, with red and orange streaks on it. “His name is…well…” Deidara looked a little sad as he said this, a wistful look on his face. “There was an accident and my partner died. Even though we argued a lot, I respected him and his art opinions. To honour him, I named my cat ‘Sasori’ after him.”

 

There was a collective sigh from some girls in the audience upon seeing his disheartened face.

 

“I’ll keep this class going in his memory!”

 

“Idiot, I’m still alive,” another man said as he walked onto the stage using the stairs.

 

“Really?” Deidara looked shocked for a moment before giving a small shrug. He got over his surprise quickly and then looked down at his cat. “Then I guess the cat goes back to its first name, Tobi.”

 

“Hey, Tenten,” Temari whispered while Tenten continued to hold back Ino.

 

“What?” She was being jostled around and her arms felt as though they were going to fall off.

 

“Why does the small _dog_ class teacher have a _cat_?”

 

“I don’t know.” Tenten frowned, puzzled.

 

“He’s a loser, that’s why,” Ino fumed, “My favourite animal’s a cat!”

 

Ino tried to break loose again and Tenten tightened her grip. This was going to be a long meeting.

 

From the corner of her eye, she saw something move and tilted her head slightly to look at it. It was that Uchiha—Itachi, if she remembered right. He looked empty—no annoyance on his face, or anything happy. It was as though he was just here, just trying to get by. Feeling her stare, he glanced in her direction and raised an elegant eyebrow at her predicament.

 

Her face burning—from anger and embarrassment, of course—she looked away.

 

Before she did, she could have sworn there was a small, amused twist of his lips, nearly a smirk.


End file.
